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I saw a few of these online and didn’t agree with any of them. I took it upon myself to make my own. My explanations follow. Your bullshit complaints will follow that.

LG: Dogs. They follow rules without ever questioning them, and they’re annoyingly sweet. Lawful good is always annoying.
NG: Hamsters. They’re largely chaotic, but they like their hamster wheels and other routines. They’re also never mean.
CG: Weasels. These creatures cannot be contained, but they’re always cool. Unless you’re a rabbit.
LN: Cow. Cows also follow the rules without question, and that’s the extent of their entire philosophy of life.
N: Goldfish. Too stupid for anything else. If you want something smarter, I’ll stick a human in there. Be careful what you wish for, disphit.
CN: Cat. I’ve seen…
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